Fridays are a wondrous thing. Something we look forward to all week, as it heralds the end of work and two days of freedom. (p.s. thanks a bunch Industrial Revolution!)
How sad is it that in western society we strive all week, fighting against our instincts, and coop ourselves up in badly lit offices, the yellow of the bulbs your only source of light. Sat in unnatural positions, stressing muscles groups with repetitive activity, talking to people you don’t want to talk to and doing things you’d rather not be doing, usually for somebody else’s benefit. Someone once said to me, if money was no object what would you be? I answered, chocolate taster (haha!) wine connoisseur (lmao!) professional dog petter (pmsl!!) before saying, “I dunno, happy?”, (like some sort of living John Lennon quote). But if I take it seriously and picture this “happy”, what is it? What do I see, what is it I would like to do with my days? So I pictured it, and it is me on a sunny day, it’s between 10am and 2pm. I am pottering. Maybe I am gardening, maybe I am making myself a cup of tea. I am writing something, drawing something, making something. I am doing something later, seeing someone, going somewhere. I am healthy. Maybe it’s not sunny, maybe it’s raining and howling and I am curled up by the window, writing or making something, watching a Netflix favourite in the background or putting on a moody album. I’m threading beads onto elastic, I’m sipping coffee as I type one handed, I am mixing ingredients together to make a home remedy, I am connecting and disconnecting and contributing and inspired.
And that’s kind of the complete opposite of how I live my life………….
I am only on this planet for a finite amount of time (time that is already rapidly accelerating at a terrifying rate!) so how much time do I really want to waste on not living my life in a way that makes me happy. But to be happy how would I manage to pay my bills? Is there such a thing as a balance between the two? This is my goal. This is what has been driving my life for years now. It occupies my every thought and action, everything driving toward discovering the secret to this balance. Of course the secret and the answer is different for each of us, but perhaps this is the meaning of life? To find your own meaning, and your own secret to happiness?
Am I A Grown Up Yet? 